Vulnerability

Have you seen the movie “The Queen”?

We watched it recently.  If you haven’t seen it, the story in brief was about Queen Elizabeth II and the changes she had to make in her mindset, during a huge time of change (where Lady Diana was causing havoc for the Royal Family image with her shenanigans and the new-age Prime Minister “just call me Tony” Blair came into power).

It gave an interesting insight into what The Queen would have gone through during that time but what it made me reflect on most was everyone’s, including my own, reaction to Lady Diana’s death.

Seeing her death in this movie, made the entire event look bizarre.  How could one person be loved by so many?  It was so surreal seeing the sea of flowers outside the palace gates for her.  Even stranger was the fact that this reaction was pretty much happening all around the world to the point where all Royal protocol that had been set in stone for generations had to be thrown out the window just to allay the public’s sentiment.

Even I, in Australia remember crying my eyes out when I found out she died.  The thing is, like many of the millions of people who did the same, I never personally knew her, never spoke a word to her, never even met her in real life.  So what made us feel so connected to her?

I think Brene Brown’s talk on The Power of Vulnerability explains it all.  It’s an excellent talk so make sure you take the 20 mins to watch it 🙂

Seeing this clip made me realise that here in London I was a stranger in a strange land and the need to be accepted and the need to feel like I belonged was much greater than in my hometown, Sydney where my relationships had already been established.

What I didn’t realise straight away was that  this need to belong came hand in hand with the fear of being judged, shamed or rejected and to cope with that fear, I was keeping people at a distance.  How could they judge me if they didn’t really know me right?

I also went through a really rough patch over the last few years and in that time I kept people at an even farther distance and there were only a few people I allowed to see me so vulnerable.

And now I finally understand why Lady Diana was so special.  It was because she allowed everyone to see her vulnerability.  She wasn’t picky with who knew what or if what she shared would be acceptable to most, she shared her story with everyone.  Now that’s courage and that’s why so many people loved her 🙂

So what have I learned from this?  A lot!!!

We have all experienced being vulnerable, we just don’t always have the courage to share it but being vulnerable is part of the human experience and in order to really connect with people, there must be no shame or judgement in our own or others’ vulnerability…  just love and acceptance 🙂

And the only way to feel love and acceptance is to believe you are worthy of it.  If you’re worthy of love, then you will have the courage to share your story.

It’s not going to be easy to feel worthy when you’re used to beating yourself up…. BUT  there are many ways to build those worthiness muscles 🙂

Here are some beautiful words from Dr John Demarti which have helped me a lot:

“No matter what you have done or not done, you are worthy of love.”

❤  ❤  ❤

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