Bikram Yoga: In My Undies

You know those dreams people have where they turn up to an exam or a speech or some other important event where they’re in view of the public and somehow are wearing nothing but their undies?

WELL, you wouldn’t actually think it happened in real life right…?  Think again… ’cause that dream came true for me at Bikram Yoga!!!

It was so not the dream I would have preferred to come true… There are many other dreams I would have been happy with, like living in a huge house for instance!  But I have now actually proven that dreams really do come true…   😛

Anyway – I was SO embarrassed walking into the yoga room that I’d wrapped my towel around me which then made people stare even more!! Urgh!!!

Wait… let me REWIND.  I’ll take you back to the beginning of the day so you can know how this came about…

It was Sunday and Tones and I woke up really late (’cause we were up all night watching Masterchef Australia again – so many episodes of that damned thing we’ll be watching it for months to get through it all).

By the time we’d made and eaten breakfast, F1 was on.

The whole time Tones was like “Go Alonso!” and I was like… “Oh.. but I want Webber to win.” and Tones would reply “He can’t win because Ferrari’s got a good strategy with the tires blah blah blah blah…”  (I won’t bore you with the details).

I wasn’t upset but I was deflated, I really just wanted Webber to win but he seemed to be comfortable just driving in 2nd place for the entire race…

ANYWAY with only 6 laps to go, Webber closed the 5+ second lead to 3 seconds, next lap, I start yelling “He’s closed it down to 2 seconds!!” then the next lap “He’s closed it down to 1.5 seconds!!” then the next lap “He’s closed it down to less than 1 second!!! YAY!!! WHOOOOOHOOO!!! GOOOOOO WEBBER! GOOOOOO!!!!”

Tony wasn’t too pleased… he likes Webber but really he’d want Alonso and Ferrari to win.  I like Alonso, but he’s already a double world champion… He’s already got the “You’re good enough stamp” – twice…  “C’mon Mark!!!  Time to get yours!!”  The commentator starts yelling too “He’s in the DRS ZONE!!!” and I start yelling and cheering and screaming at the TV “C’MON!!!!”

I’m jumping off my seat, both my legs and my arms are in the air, Webber overtakes Alonso and I’m screaming and so happy and excited for him!  He WINS the British Grand Prix!!! WHOOOOOHOOOO!!!  He’s also coming 2nd for the Driver’s Championship Title so I’m buzzing!  WHOOT!

Simultaneously we’re watching the Wimbledon (it’s on live stream BBC on the computer while we have F1 on TV), Andy Murray is leading and Roger seems to be throwing the ball off court and hitting it with the edge of his racket…  just ’cause… WTF is he doing??? My elation for Webber drops as I watch Murray just hammering Federer.

Again I say to Tones… oh but I want Federer to win “Why is he playing so shit??  C’mon Federer get your head screwed on and start focusing!!  Don’t ruin my day…. I’m friggin’ happy!!!!”  😉

So we continue to watch this match and I’m getting frustrated when I see Roger Federer with what seems to be an unlimited number of unforced errors clocking up.  “C’mon mate!  What are you doing??!!  WIN!!”

Tony tells me that Andy Murray is actually playing really well.  I can see that the British public are right behind him, encouraging him and I watch as Federer has “less” cheers and claps… and an Aussie LOVES an underdog!! LOL   GO Federer!!

Sitting there getting uber frustrated and thinking “C’mon Federer – can you just rip the band aid off and slaughter him already??  I need you to finish by 6.15pm so I can get to yoga!!!”  I start to consider where my clothes are for yoga.

The fight for the second set win was painful but Federer gets the win..  I’m relieved, the third set takes less time but I’m just like “HURRY UP!”  By the fourth set I’m thinking, “Great!  He’s in his stride, he’s got the rhythm, c’mon dude… wipe him out!”   Meanwhile, looking for the clothes I’m taking to yoga, I pick up my shorts.  Andy Murray is picking up his game, he’s fighting back… “NO!!!!!” I scream at the TV and put the shorts on my head screaming “C’mon Federer!!”  (yes, I put them on my head… don’t ask me why, I was upset and the shorts were in my hands when I raised them to my head screaming “NO!!”)

I pick up all the clothes from the washing line, run to the bedroom, put them on the bed and put the shorts in my bag which is on the bed, run back to the TV to watch until Federer is hammering Murray and is almost at match point…

“Yes!! C’mon Federer… only 3 more hits and you win!!”  (Deuce)

“Yes!! only 2 more hits and you win!!”  (Adv Murray)

“Dammit! C’mon! Only 3 more hits and you win!!!” (Deuce)

“Alright!! Only 2 more hits and you win!” (Adv Murray)

“WTF dude!!! It’s 6.10pm!!!  I have to go!! WIN ALREADY!!!” (Deuce)

“OK!!! Only 2 more hits and you win! Concentrate!!!” (Adv Federer)

“YES!!!!!” (Game, Set, Match Federer) “WHOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!”

I’m yelling, I’m screaming, I’m jumping and it’s right on time for us to leave to go to yoga!!! Tony’s packed my towel and my water, I pack my singlet, yoga pass, jacket… etc

We bring the umbrella it starts pelting down rain, I’m just BUZZING from an awesome day where BOTH the players I wanted to win WON!!! I’m sooooo happy!!!

Half way to yoga, the sun comes out… WHOOT! I turn to Tony and say “Hey!! the sun’s out and it’s raining… that means there should be a RAINBOW!! Where is it???”

We look around, can’t find it… I say “It’s my lucky day!  Today is the day for Leprechauns and rainbows, I had a rainbow, Webber won! AND Federer won!  That’s like a DOUBLE RAINBOW!!!”

A few minutes later I start screaming “OMG!!! It’s a DOUBLE RAINBOW!!!”

I’m not kidding you… we actually saw a double rainbow!!! “ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE SKY!!!”  I only wish I had a phone to take a picture of it… it was friggin’ awesome!!!  (We don’t bring phones to yoga.. yoga is “me time” and we give ourselves that every time we go – no disturbances, no work, nothing but me.  Which is great until you see a double rainbow and can’t take a picture of it!)

And then… that’s when it hit me… “balance… ”  I’ve had such an awesome day, I’m totally elated… I’m making it to yoga on time… my 2 sportsmen I was going for won and I’ve just seen my first rainbow in years and it turned out to be a DOUBLE Rainbow… “So….Where’s the crap?”  I decided to ignore that question and continue to be happy and make it to yoga.

I get there…. I open my bag… the bag is black, my shorts are black.. so they’re hard to find… I start looking more, I have a singlet and a crop top, I have my towel… where’s my shorts??? CRAP!

I empty the bag… OMG… where are my shorts??????  I’ve walked all the way to yoga and I have no shorts!!!  I thought I put them in my bag but in all the excitement I must’ve taken them off my head and just put them on the bed with everything else….

I can’t wear my jeans in the class it’s too hot and sweaty and then I’ll have nothing to wear home so… I check the bag again…..

OMG  I actually have to do yoga in my undies or not do it at all!!!!!!!!!!!  Yoga in my undies!!!!!

I didn’t go all the way to yoga not to do it… so, I wrap the towel around me, I see Tones outside and tell him sheepishly “I’ve forgotten my shorts… so I’ve got to do yoga in my undies!!”  I start laughing, how embarrassing!! He looks confused and and says “WTF?”  I repeat myself… he shakes his head and laughs at me.

I tell him I’ve got to fill my water bottle but I’ll meet him just outside the yoga room… when I get back out, he’s not there… instead he’s gone inside and has already chosen mats for us.

So I have to enter the room by myself, wrapped in my towel, only to find that Tones has chosen mats RIGHT AT THE FRONT of the room….!!! CRAP!!!

Dude!!! I just told you I was in my undies… what the hell are you choosing the FRONT of the room for???? Mortified I walk towards him… everyone who’s sitting up stares at me… (of course they would, I’ve walked into the room with my towel wrapped completely around me as if I’ve just come out of the shower….)

The back of the class unfortunately, was rather crowded and since there are “bending over” poses where your neighbour can “enjoy the view”, I decided I was safer at the front with Tony.  I just made sure I stayed in the corner so at least I was surrounded by 1) mirror 2) wall 3) Tony 4) stranger who was a woman… phew!

There’s something about being in undies that makes one feel exposed.  Why is that?  Especially when swimming costumes show more surely?  Hmm.. I suppose you don’t spend your time bending and stretching in your swimming costume.  Anyway… I was conscious about it for the first few poses but then I got over it.

So, there you go, I ended up doing yoga in my underwear.  Nobody said anything but who would?!!  How embarrassing!  Thank God I was wearing my Bonds Hipster Boylegs rather than a G-string or something frilly!!  Phew!

Last time I forgot my towel.. this time I forgot my shorts…. I think I need to stop watching TV and cheering other people on who already have their sh!t together and start focusing on my own needs.  I can’t believe that getting to yoga with all my gear on would be a win for me!! LOL!

To add to the “balance”, it was freezing cold and pouring rain on the way home, my feet and shoes were SOAKED and now I’m actually in bed sick!!! Blocked nose, sore tonsils, fever.. the works!  Obviously I need to make sure I wear more than just undies in class if I don’t want to catch a cold!!!

So… if you ever end up having to do yoga in your undies…. I promise, I won’t judge you…  😛

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