Dramas: Out of the woodwork

You know, when I write this blog, it’s like this random outlet of thoughts and emotions.  Believe it or not, I don’t do it expecting anybody to read it at all and up to now I still get surprised when people say “Oh I read your blog…”

Really?  You had nothing else to do? Seriously?  My boring life is that interesting to you?

Blogging is this fantastic way to let go of a lot of pent up feelings and I read a long time ago (when blogs first started) that those who blogged, used it like a diary and those who did that, proved to be more emotionally stable.

These days people write blogs to be noticed, to monetise and/or both.  I guess it’s trying to be significant in a world that makes you feel insignificant.

Significance?  Pfft… I get that every day when my darling husband hugs me and tells me he loves me or when friends write and tell me wonderful stories and share videos of the dolphins that swum next to their boat or when we get a personal tour of a hotel and get to sit in Ferrari leather cinema seats or even, wait for it, getting to hug celebrity chefs or receiving a personalised copy of their new book.  Yup, I get to feel pretty f’king special and significant quite a lot without having to write a blog! 😉

So why write one?  Because I am taking the action I need to maintain my mental and emotional health, plus I like writing and telling random stories whether or not someone’s listening.

But something strange has happened.  I let snippets out of my internal conflicts in some of my more recent blogs and this has sparked the interest of certain people.

The funny thing with this blog thing is that because it’s public, anybody can read it and because anybody can read it, ANYBODY can give me their opinion.

“There’s one thing this world is full of, it’s other people’s opinions.”- Bob Proctor.  That’s right Bob! And you are a friggin’ legend… That is my opinion.

Here I was thinking I could just write stuff and nobody I know would be reading it or even care but since writing about my mother and her cancer, all sorts have been coming out of the wood works, who never contacted me otherwise, that I never would have imagined and they’re reading my blog and telling me to ring her “while you have the chance” or ” before you regret it.”

Well, this one’s for you.  My mum’s friend told me that she was being released from palliative care last week or the week before.  Then a few days later my cousin writes to tell me that my mum didn’t call my Uncle and Grandma to say goodbye but to wish them a belated happy birthday.

With that in mind, she’s obviously not in the state I thought she was in.  However, she did give my sister that update knowing that my sister would update me.  So go figure.  There was a pity party and I got invited to it.

I was conflicted about going and you encouraged me to go.  Shame on you.

Well, I didn’t go and now that I know what I know,  I’m not going and I am happy with my decision.

The people who grew up with me and know of my circumstances and of hers, not a single one suggested I call because they know me well enough to know I will just do what I do.

Thanks for your concern though, turns out there was nothing to be concerned about.  Me and my problems are going to a therapist.  The rest is not my responsibility.


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