I was reading something today that said:
“Speaking your truth is an act of self love and self care.”
This made me think.
“What?” you ask! “Me? Thinking? Again? How dare I!!”
But yes, I was thinking that so often we mute ourselves, stop words from coming out of our mouths because we don’t want to hurt, irritate or annoy others.
Perhaps our words might offend someone, perhaps what we say will bring about the negative opinions of others about us.
Perhaps what we say (has or) will cause what looks like a disastrous consequence such as broken relationships, hurt feelings, sadness or humiliation.
Sometimes, depending on the reaction we get, what we say may compromise our safety.
There are a myriad of reasons not to say things and whatever the reasoning is for a particular situation, there seem to be many situations where we end up choosing to keep it all inside, instead of saying anything at all.
What’s the saying? “Some things are better left unsaid.” or “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all.”
Sometimes we don’t want to say things because if we do, we won’t be able to take it back and no amount of sorries will ever allow things to go back to the way they were.
But what’s the alterative?
In other words, we fear that if we say certain things, relationships will change and we don’t want things to change because it’s uncomfortable.
Sometimes it’s painful and so to avoid pain and discomfort, we shut up and bottle it up instead or, we ask the other person to bottle it up inside them because we don’t want to hear it.
Then one day… after the pressure builds up, some little thing happens and it all comes out in one almighty tirade with 20 times more venom because it’s been brewing.
It’s probably one reason why people love alcohol so much because it allows them to say things freely, say things they wouldn’t normally say like, “I love you.”
Then the next day if it had a negative consequence, they can say, “That wasn’t me, it was the alcohol!”
Perhaps a reason why people like Trump is because he speaks freely without the need for alcohol. I’m not convinced it’s his truth he’s saying but when he speaks, he speaks as if he doesn’t censor himself and people wish they could be more like that.
Not necessarily to believe the same things or to say the things he does but rather, to be free enough to live life expressing themselves without really being concerned with other peoples’ feelings or opinions.
To be able to do the above would be so liberating. Wouldn’t it?
The truth is, not even Donald J. Trump is immune. He cannot say what he likes without being affected by the wrath of other people’s feelings or opinions.
So let’s stop for a moment here.
What we’d all like is to be able to speak freely and to express ourselves fully and freely.
Why we don’t do it is because we are scared of the backlash we’ll get, in whatever form that comes (eg criticism, violence), for the things we say, do or believe.
Why we don’t let others express themselves without backlash is because we are scared that whatever they say might be true, which makes us question our own beliefs and way of life.
This is unsettling, uncomfortable and we don’t like feeling uncomfortable. So instead we just express and say things that we know are already accepted and liked and reward those for doing the same.
Could it be that this is why people feel disgruntled about their lives? Because they feel unheard and insignificant? Could it be that people feel this way because they’ve spent their lives muting and dulling themselves to be just like everyone else?
What if people feel disgruntled and unhappy simply because they’re not living their truth? What if, they don’t live their truth because they don’t know what it is or don’t want to share what it is in case they are persecuted for it and so spend a lifetime censoring it?
The fact is that we are ALL allowed to express our true selves but we don’t.
And that is why “Speaking your truth is an act of self love and self care.” Giving ourselves permission to speak our truth, is a gift of love for ourselves.
So what does speaking your truth mean?
To me it’s about finding the message in our hearts and communicating those messages to the rest of the world. Sounds woo woo but humour me for a bit.
What if we stopped to explore what’s in our heart once in a while and then projected what we found, out into the world? (I’m not talking about cutting open a physical heart here ok? I’m talking about our spiritual heart.)
What would we find there?
If someone asked you what your heart’s desires were, would you answer anger, violence, fear, unrealistic expectations and righteousness? Or would you answer something else? What would it be?
If your heart could speak and you listed out what it had to say, what would be on the list? What if we each did what is on our heart’s list?
How would we feel then? Would we feel disgruntled? Would we want to stop others from doing the same for themselves?
If we communicated from our hearts, what sort of things would we say? If we expressed ourselves fully from the heart, what would that look like? What would we do?
If we knew the message our hearts had for ourselves and the world, would we mute it? If we spoke freely from the heart and lived our truth, what would be the effect on each other?
So what is at the core of your being, waiting to be communicated?
Isn’t it interesting that the word Coeur in French is the word for heart and the word for core?
The language of love has made a connection – whatever is at your core is your heart. Whatever is in your heart, is the core of your being.
In your heart’s centre is your truth and once all the layers have been peeled off, you will find that there will be nothing there but love.
It reminds me of this… and Jesus answered:
So what does speaking your truth mean to you?