Allow me to Introduce to you…. My Little Headaches

We did it.  We bit the bullet and got bunny companions.

Did you know that’s what you call them now?  Companions.  It’s not about ownership and being owned these days.  It’s called companionship where one companion acts as a guardian for the other.

Gone are the days of pets and owners.  Just sentient beings playing roles of companions and guardians living in the same household.  That’s how it’s been described in today’s New Age world.  How about that?

As their new guardians, we named our bunny companions Paris & Rome, after our favourite cities we’ve visited together.

Here’s a sneak peak…

view-from-the-top-of-the-stairs

Should have just called them Alopecia and Hypertension if you ask me because that’s what they’ve been causing me.

I can think of other names like Sleep Deprivation and Distress, Moody and Stroppy, Trouble and Drama, Aches and Pains, Kill me now and F’k my life… OMG I’m finding this way too easy!

I think this is what mums go through when they have their first child.  Except I went from being childless, to being responsible for 2 teenage boys (who do not communicate with anything other than piss, poo and biting) overnight, so I’ve had no time to build up to or get used to this!

So please excuse me while I adjust to manic life.

These boys keep testing me, testing their dominance, testing the boundaries.  They jump and hurt themselves.  They jump and fall on each other.  They BONK each other every few minutes unless we give them something new to explore.  They learn quickly and get bored soon after.

They have bitten each other and scratched each other as they wrestle with working out how to bonk.  They attempt so many angles and then take turns that they leave each other looking completely dishevelled.

We built their new hutch last night and put them in there.  This morning I woke up to the biggest kerfuffle and every time I walked in and said “What are you doing?!” in my half asleep state, they both just sat there and did nothing but stare back at me.

When I went back to bed they started whatever it was all over again.  I stubbed my toe running out of bed to catch them doing whatever they were doing to make so much noise and yet again, they both just stopped and stared at me.

Only later when I got up and wasn’t groggy did I realise that all the noise was them chasing and pulling out each others’ fur!

They have bitten Tony and/or myself, at least once each, per day.  They’ve peed all over our couch multiple times and pooed everywhere and they’re completely disinterested in developing relationships with us.

They even thumped at me before running away, to tell me just how much I was annoying them by wanting to pat them.  It’s effectively the same as saying “get lost” and slamming the door.  Oh my broken heart…. it’s like a little test in repeated rejection.

They’re just in their own little world.

We’ve only had them for a few days (quite literally 3 days as I write this) and they weren’t handled much or litter trained either which means we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us to gain their trust and respect.

They’re wild-like ie. they’re terrified of humans holding them where they’ll freeze and their tiny little hearts and breathing will go to a million miles per hour.

They always run away if you try to pet them and they don’t eat anything you offer them with your hands and they toilet everywhere.  I mean EVERYWHERE.

I’m attempting the toilet training now only to realise in my despair research (that’s research you do when you want to scream “WHY ISN’T IT WORKING?!  SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!”) that teenage boy bunnies, unless neutered will spray urine and drop poo for territory boundaries EVERYWHERE even if they’re litter trained.

So I won’t ever actually get a 100% success rate with litter training unless they are both neutered.

They pee to mark territory, they pee as part of their courtship ritual, they pee (on you..) if they like you (lucky I got Paris stroppy at me, less chance of me getting pissed on), they pee to take ownership of what was once yours eg the couch, a blanket, the pillows, any excuse to paint the walls with piss really and it’s doing my head in because I’m the one doing all the cleaning.

Their pee and poo odours are omnipotent – everywhere at all times, permeating every cell and seeping through the walls, especially if there’s another male rabbit around… of course.

NOW why didn’t I get girls?  Because when I was younger I had rabbits as pets and the boys were always so sweet,  nice, loving and affectionate towards me and they NEVER pissed or pooed anywhere other than in their litter tray.

They also learned to toilet train quickly AND they trained their own kits to go in the litter too.

The girls in my experience however were always aggressive.  They growled, attacked other bunnies and pissed and pooed wherever they liked.  They liked to ignore my training and do their own thing.

The girls also chased other rabbits and pulled hair off them and they bit other bunnies HARD causing injury.

The boys when allowed into the house, never peed or pooed anywhere but the girls didn’t just dirty everywhere, they ate cables too.

I had to get a repair man come to fix my washing machine hose and cable all because I left the girl bunny in the laundry so she wouldn’t bite my hand off when I tried to clean her hutch, not to mention the mess I had to clean in the laundry after I put her back in the hutch!!

Compare that to allowing my boy bunny full reign of my bedroom for 5.5 hours by himself without him even so much as toppling a pile of paper I had under the bed which was easily accessible to him at all times.   No poo, no pee, no mess.  He’d just hang out in my room until I got back.

So I told Tony that if we were ever to get bunnies, I wanted boys – they’ve always been much nicer and easier to deal with.  I didn’t realise that every time I had a boy bunny, he was by himself or with one (or many) girl bunny(ies).

I’d never actually had 2 boys (and only boys) at the same time until now.  So I had no idea their behaviour would be like this when there were 2 of them.  They are quite literally now having a pissing contest, every day.

When we went to get them there were only boys to choose from so either the breeders kept the does, the pet store only took in bucks, or all the does got sold first.

Whatever the case, only bucks were available.  I was told that these little ones were girls and was going to tell Tones we should just wait for bucks to come in.  Then she corrected herself and said, “Oh sorry, I was mistaken, they are bucks.”  I was so happy!

OMG am I regretting it now.

Just call them headaches and just like all children, they’re only sweet and nice when they’re puffed up like a little fluffy ball and resting.

And they stink…. OMG they smell.  I heard teenage boys smell… well, rabbits are the same.  Not the actual rabbits because they’re cleaning themselves all the time but their territorial poo really really stinks.

The stench gives me a headache.  What’s worse is I actually cleaned their entire area only 24 hours ago to the point where the stink was completely gone and now within 24 hours, the stink is just as bad as it was before I cleaned and I can’t stop them.  This is what teenage bunny boys do.

I called the vet to book in a check up and vaccination.  I booked it early and in a few days time so they get to see the vet before I throttle them but it looks like they’re beating up each other on their own quite fine.

I was hoping they could actually vaccinate AND neuter at the same time to save me from my stress but alas it is not to be.  Unfortunately I will have to wait and tolerate the pissing contest for a little longer 😦

I don’t think Tony wants to get involved.  Yesterday I asked him to check if Paris’ balls had dropped and he didn’t want to.  “You do it” he said to me.  “I don’t want to look at their balls!”

So… yes, I am now mother to 3 boys.

We had to check because if the testicles have descended, the rabbit is old enough to be neutered and I wanted them to be neutered at the same time so they could recover at the same time.  This is what they suggested at the pet store.  The boys are 3.5 months old.

The vet however, might want me to wait until the bunnies are actually 6 months old so they’re fully matured before neutering.  Do you know what this means?  It means if they can’t get neutered now, I have to spend another quarter of a year with a house full of stench, cleaning up piss!!!!!

Why did I have to get them at this age??!!!!!  Couldn’t I at least have them as babies for a while first?  You know, when they’re cute, trainable and obedient instead of arsy and defiant?!!! Hey… there’s 2 more names for them Arsy and Defiant.  ARGH!!!!!

You know that if you don’t do what they do, they actually nudge you hard with their noses?  AND if you still ignore them, they bite!

When we got them, Paris had no balls visible and Rome did.  Within a couple of days, both of them have descended testicles.  How about that?  No wonder this pissing contest is going so strong in frequency and in odour!!

Having said all this, their development is so quick that you never know, I could be with bunnies with different and more mature personalities by next week.

Maybe I just need to give them time to settle in.  I screamed at Paris the other day and he got all stroppy with me.  We gave each other the silent treatment for a day.

It’s OK because Tony is consoling me, and Rome consoles Paris.  He licks him on the chin and grooms his ears to cheer him up.

I told Paris off because he peed and pooed on the couch one too many times.  He did it after I’d already done 4 loads of laundry (2 of which was because of how much peeing they did) and spent the day cleaning after them so I’d had enough.

So now that I’ve spoken so highly of them, do you want to see their faces?

Awwww…..

Yes, these are my little pissers.  Whose piss odours have filled every cavity in the space we call home to give me a chronic headache.

Paris and Rome

Paris is the Black one, colour “Black Otter”.  Rome is the brown one, colour “Siamese Sable”.

They are our new naughty little Pedigree Pure Breed (soon to be neutered or I’ll go crazy) Netherland Dwarf Bucks.

My little headaches… and our chosen companions for up to the next 12 years.

Oh what adventures we will have wee ones.  I can’t wait for the day you two stop pissing and pooing anywhere except your litters!

And I hope soon you will finally let us give you hugs and cuddles ❤

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