This week’s blog is not going to be about the bunnies, yoga, physical health/ailments, food or even DIY natural products and superfood smoothies. Nope, this week I’m going to talk about wealth.
I was going through this document, the annual Global Wealth Report 2017 because I read an article that said 1% of all adults in the world owned over 50% of global household wealth and I just wanted to understand how this happens.
You’ve heard it before, “The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer.” and now…. the 1% are worth 50% of the global population’s net worth put together.
Yes it’s the great headline about the disparity between rich and poor, designed to conjure up all sorts of emotions around “It’s not fair!”
But life isn’t fair. It never was and it never will be. We each come to this world with our own advantages and disadvantages whether they’re physical, mental, emotional or monetary and we arrive with any combination and number of those.
The question is, how do we deal with the cards we’ve been given? And… are our cards really that bad? How do we make good out of what we’ve got? How well do we use the advantage we’ve been given?
It reminds me of this exercise on understanding privilege.
So back to this report…. the thing that I couldn’t get past when looking through the report was that 91% of the world adult population (ie does not count the entire world population because children are not included) has a net worth of less than $100K (USD) per adult.
Upon reading this, I was incredulous. I really couldn’t understand how so many people had so little.
Since this teacher’s exercise on his $100 race, was so enlightening, I decided to do the same process for wealth:
Take 2 steps forward if you don’t live in a third world country.
If you were in Burma, it would take you 100 years to earn $100,000 USD.
People in third world countries have shorter life expectancy (40 years vs 80 years in the first world). That means, it will take them 2.5 life times to earn $100K and many more years to save it!
2. Take 2 steps forward if you don’t live in a second world country.
Adults in second world countries aren’t much better, earning about USD $2,500-$5,000 per year.
Just on earning potential alone, the entire second and third world population is left behind. The developing world countries make up about 80% of the global population. This now leaves only 20% of adults, all living in first world countries, in the lead.
Still think your life is unfair?
3. Take 2 steps forward if you are 30yo or older.
Adults just coming of age at 18 would not automatically have $100K and will take time to earn, save and invest it.
4. Take 2 steps forward if you have received an inheritance or help from parents over $25K.
Many people can make the $100K on their own but how much easier is it to be given a little step up? You know, to be able to stand on the shoulders of those who stood before you?
5. Take 2 steps forward if you haven’t gone through a divorce.
Not only do you split your accumulated wealth into 2 with a divorce, there’s the cost of lawyers and uneven splits of wealth depending on how many children you have, whether they’re still minors and who’s taken custody of them and how angry your partner is…
Divorce has been the financial demise of many a person. Some people recover from it, some people don’t.
6. Take 2 steps forward if you haven’t lost your money in a failed business.
You’ve heard those stats right?
80% of entrepreneurs fail within 18 months of starting a business.
50% of businesses fail within 5 years.
Whether or not those stats are accurate, businesses can be big financial risks that more often than not, don’t work.
Similar to marriages, some people just don’t learn and risk it all more than a few times.
7. Take 2 steps forward if you’re not yet in retirement.
Retirement eats away at your nest egg. If most of it is savings and not in high yield investments that will cover your living and lifestyle expenses plus inflation year on year, the longer you live, the less you’ll have.
8. Take 2 steps forward for every $10K over $50K you earn per year. So eg. if you earn $60K, you’ll take 2 steps, earn $70K, you take 4 steps etc.
Simple logic, assuming you save proportionately the same amount of your income, you will get to $100K a lot faster if you earn more.
9. Take 2 steps forward if you don’t have any pets or children.
Let’s face it, kids cost money and most pets of the privileged are treated just like kids.
10. Take 2 steps forward if you’ve learned how to save and invest your money wisely.
And here it is, how only 9% of the adults of the world make it over $100K in net worth and stay there. If you keep going with this exercise, that’s how you separate the more privileged of the already privileged.
This is where I lose my incredulity and get smacked in the face with what reality is like for the rest of the world and find some humility and gratitude for my own life and where I am.
Especially in those times where we think we have it rough, we need a little reminder of just how fortunate we actually are.
When Tony and I moved in together, he had all his things and I had all of mine, doubling our “thing” count. I also found out that he too had some things in Australia as well as in the UK (quadrupling our thing count).
In order to fit all our things into a small 1 br flat, we threw away a lot, gave a lot to charity, gave some away to friends and still to this day, we are inundated with an abundance of things.
Just by receiving gifts or purchasing them and living in 2 different countries, I now have a minimum of 2 of everything.
I’ve sent bags and bags of clothes to the charity bins myself in London and I did the same in Australia.
There were things I gave away through PIFfing (Pay It Forward), some I got charities to come and pick up from me and some individuals came to pick things up for free. It included large furniture, near-new mattresses, kitchen items, books, electronics and all sorts. Some I sold.
I actually did this in Australia as well as in the UK!!
But it seems no matter how much I let go of, I didn’t make a dent in my overcrowded cupboard and drawer space.
You know I read her book a couple of years ago?
I only managed to do it with clothes, shoes, bags and jewellery and you know what happened? I GOT MORE!!!!!! I didn’t even buy them. It was all given to me.
The universe abhors a vacuum.
I learned that if you want anything, you must first create a vacuum / a space for it and because the universe abhors a vacuum, that thing you want and created space for, will fill that space.
This belief has worked so much for me that cleaning out my cupboards created a vacuum. The problem is, I never thought of what I wanted to fill the space so now, I just have more of what I got rid of, sitting where the old things used to be.
The cupboards I Konmaried (I can’t believe I used that as a verb) are still neat, just really, REALLY squishy.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago where I visited a neighbourhood where people hung all their unused jackets, bags and toys outside of their house like decoration (imagine a 3D version of a ginger bread house). I wondered why when people had 2-3 story houses, they hung things outside and was told that they did this because their houses were too small to store all their things.
It made sense to them but with each house I went past, I just repeated the same questions, “Why do they have so much stuff? Do they even need it all?”
And so now I ask myself, why do we have so many things?
I’ve recently just taken another bag of clothes to charity and some plant pots but our home is still full.
It seems, it is time for me to do some Konmari-ing once again and this time, I think I should do it properly. ie just like the poster says, KONMARI ALL THE THINGS.
I’m a dancer. Not in the performing or professional sense. Just that I am a person who likes to dance.
I had ballet classes when I was about 9, for a couple of months and I loved them. My mum stopped my classes on account of the teacher moving away but truth be told, I reckon it was because we just couldn’t afford it.
Other than those few months of ballet, I’ve never had professional training in any dance but I loved dancing anyway and would dance in front of my mirror and copy video clips like most teenagers do.
As an adult, I never pursued a dancing career because I figured I was too old, too inflexible and it was just too late for me.
Besides, as a teenager, dancing in front of your dressing table mirror and then having your dad see you through the window and fall over laughing at you because of what he saw you doing was mortifying enough to ensure I never did that again unless I was sure that NOBODY could see me.
I didn’t go to my first clubbing experience until I was already at University. I loved it. I’d be the first person on the dance floor and the last one standing.
I’d go to the club not for the alcohol or the picking up, not for the conversation I mean, you couldn’t really talk in a night club since the music was so loud. Nope… I went there to dance. It just made me happy.
One of my fondest memories was going to a club packed full of people. It was supposedly the biggest nightclub in the Southern Hemisphere back in those days. 3 floors of the same music, each level being like a mezzanine able to look down onto the floors below, right to the bottom centre where the DJ was.
I was a 90’s R’n’B and Hip Hop girl. That’s all they played in that club.
So here I was walking through the ground level, a completely packed crowd full of strangers as tight as a mosh pit except dancing to RnB, attempting to get to my friends upstairs when Snoop’s Ain’t No Fun comes on.
Everybody screams “oooooh!!” like you do when you’re thinking “This is my JAM!”, puts their hands in the air and starts bopping back and forth to the beat, including me.
I stop in my tracks and just bop along with everyone. I was now part of the sea of people bopping in the same direction.
Kind of like a concert where everyone is clapping and singing their lungs out to their favourite song except with the hip hop hooray movement going on at the same time to the beat.
Then the first line starts, “When I met you last night baby..” DJ stops the track and everyone yells the next line. “Before you opened up your gap!”
And that was it, we all lost it… you see, this song was not on the radio but everyone in the club knew the song and were completely chuffed to hear that everyone else knew it too.
Can you imagine? Thousands of people bopping to the rhythm all at the same time with huge smiles on their faces doing this call and response with the DJ and anyone you made eye contact with would be singing along with you while giving you the hugest grin. Unity.
We were all having a great time. It was the best! I wasn’t with anyone I knew but we all connected in that moment and the feeling was blissful.
That’s why I like dancing because even when you can’t talk, you can still connect with others through music, movement and rhythm. It really puts all the senses together – auditory, visual and kinaesthetic and it’s absolutely magic when everyone is in the moment together.
It really does make me happy.
So here I am at 40, having a midlife crisis. Why?
Because Tony doesn’t dance and ever since being with him, I have completely stopped dancing. This year would mark 9 years of us being together. And it is therefore 9 years of zero dancing for me.
We also liked very different music in our youth so any time I start singing a song, he has no idea what I’m referring to.
I attempted to get him to come to attend beginners Salsa classes with me as some middle ground but it ended up being like torture for him. He would finish the classes feeling completely frustrated, angry or incompetent.
None of the feelings that I would ever associate with dancing. Since it was so horrible for him, we stopped going and I never went dancing again. Even dancing at clubs or parties is a bit crap because he can’t dance. It becomes very awkward and not fun, so even if I want to dance I just sit instead.
We just go to yoga now because he’s good at that.
It’s taken 9 years of slowly eating away at me and I had no idea until I had a conversation with a friend who I hadn’t seen in 10 years and he mentioned that his impression of seeing me after all that time was that I was subdued and almost withdrawn.
I always figured I’d become the way I am now because I was a) older b) more mature c) more at peace with myself d) experienced some pretty harrowing emotional events in the last 10 years that I haven’t completely gotten over and so needed some time to chill.
Part of that is true but something inside me just said, “No, that’s not it.”
I always told myself that I would dance my way through life and 10 years is a long time to not do that. It’s almost like I paused myself mid-movement and said yup, I’m fine right here.
But it turns out, I’m not. I’ve been feeling this for a while but it took someone outside of me who hasn’t seen me since before I was with Tony, to say, “You know what? I think you’ve forgotten just how cool you are.”
As usual, it made me think. “Have I forgotten? If so, what have I forgotten? What was I like? Did I like that me? What did I do then that I’m not doing now?”
Dancing was one of the things that came up. Dancing. I gave up something that made me happy. I stopped doing something that lit me up inside… for 10 years. How could I possibly not be subdued after doing something like that?
So this week I’ve been completely obsessed with finding an adult dance class to attend. I want to get my groove back even if just a little.
I’m choosing a class because I really think I’m too old and tired to go to a nightclub, I have no room (and no one) to dance with at home and the yoga studio is an inappropriate place to bust a move.
I’m rather embarrassed to say that I feel weird going to classes that are being run by and attended by 20 year olds. Hence feeling like I’m having a midlife crisis.
It seems that people my age prefer to tango, salsa or swing and here I am thinking I’d like to go do Hip Hop. Yes, this is why I’m having a midlife crisis because I’m choosing a type of dance that I liked to do in my teens and 20’s.
I figure, if that’s where I paused then that’s where I have to pick up from before I can move on.
Actually Hip Hop doesn’t exist as a dance class anymore. It’s so ancient, I think it’s evolved to Street Dance or something and the movements look a little more violent to me – you know with all the krumping and the popping? I’m a bit scared.
I’m so out of it I have no idea plus my older joints may not like so many quick snappy movements but I can’t talk myself out of this before I even attempt it just because I think it’s inappropriate or crazy for my age.
I’ve got to give it a go, even if only once and if I don’t like it, I can always stop and find something else right?
Hell, maybe I can be the only 80 year old doing hip hop in the future. Break social norms, why not eh?
Normally I wouldn’t be this scared to go dancing but I guess this is what happens when you spend 10 years training yourself not to do something.
So, here’s to being 40 and reliving your 20’s eh? Wish me luck.
It’s a short one today just to say that I’ve been avoiding Bikram Yoga and people are noticing.
“We don’t see you in the classes anymore!”
Well, it’s simple, I’ve probably done all of 3 Bikram classes in the last 5 months.
I actually lose less hair by staying away. That is, I now have much more hair remaining on my head because I’m not exposing myself to the heat – I drop hair like crazy in the hot room.
But there are disadvantages like I don’t get to do toe stand anymore and camels are just as non-existent. Not that I liked camels, I hated them. And, I’m getting fat around my belly again. Hey ho. You win some you lose some.
So what am I doing instead? Yin and the occasional Vinyasa. On the upside my hips are opening up and my crow is getting better. I’m hating the chaturanga dandasanas but hey… you win some, you lose some!
I’m loving the yin though. Yesterday I fell asleep and only woke up to switch postures. Ahhhh my life feels so much more balanced when I do yin. Being a very yang person within my entire being, the yin actually helps a lot.
So yes, I’m starting to miss Bikram yoga. I don’t miss the heat, I miss the postures and feel like I’ve forgotten how to move my body in those ways (eg holding awkward pose). I probably won’t be able to do any of the postures when I go to a class.
Methinks it’s time to start looking at my posture progress again to see if having spent time away has made a difference. Curious to find out.
It all started 2.5 years ago when I made Tony some hair pomade for our anniversary.
It lasted a little over a year. It didn’t cost me much to make. Probably all of £3.00 if that, for 300g or maybe more. I don’t know ’cause I didn’t weigh it.
He looked at store bought pomade recently and it costs £32.00 for only 250g which is about half the size of my jars.
Truth be told, he loves my homemade pomade so much, he requested I make more when he ran out (instead of going to buy some). He preferred what I made to the gels and waxes he’d been using previously.
Why does he love it? Firstly, because it works but more importantly, when he sweats in yoga, it doesn’t sting his eyes at all and lastly, he reckons it makes his hair softer and cleared up all dandruff.
I love it because I can make it smell different each time.
I also love it because every time he bends over to kiss Rome, Rome will actually lick his hair!
It puts me at ease knowing that although it might be slightly bad for a rabbit to consume hair pomade (mixture of oils and beeswax), at least it’s all natural and even the rabbit isn’t put off by licking it!
Anyway, first it was hair pomade, then it was tooth paste, next thing you know, I just started DIY-ing all our products, as and when we ran out of them.
Usually I only have to make one item if at all, in any given week. Depending on the product, I could be making it every 3 weeks, every 3 months or in the instance of pomade, just once every year and a bit.
This week however EVERYTHING ran out. So each day, I have been making a DIY something or other.
I don’t mind. In fact, I LOVE knowing that we’re slowly but surely removing all harmful, toxic and unnecessary chemicals from our home.
The less chemicals we’re exposed to, the better!!
So what have I made this week?
Dish Washing Detergent (for hand washing dishes)
All purpose cleaning spray
Tooth Powder (instead of toothpaste)
To be honest, I can’t actually believe we’ve eliminated all store bought items of the above and I’m impressed with how easy they all are to make.
Best of all, they work better than the store bought ones AND whatever goes down our drain, isn’t feeding chemicals back to nature.
This is a real photo of our stove before and after I used my all natural DIY cleaning spray. All I used was the spray, a scourer and a cloth.
I really should have timed it but I’m pretty sure it was done in less than 10 mins. I don’t think our stove’s ever been cleaner.
Tony did some of his own DIY-ing too after I told him off. There’s nothing like the motivation of a grumpy wife to get you going especially when your motto is “A happy wife is a happy life!” 😉
The rabbits (ie Rome) have been chewing on their hutch at 4am and it echoes through our very quiet flat like a thunderous hammering on wood.
He (Tony) sleeps right through it. I don’t. The nights where I have slept through are the nights where the exhaustion of an accumulation of multiple sleepless nights has taken over.
At first, I was waking up because the rabbits were fighting.
These days, since we separated them, for the most part, we go to bed at 2am, I wake up at 4am because Rome has woken up and started biting the hutch and biting and pulling the cage bars back and forth to say “let me out!”
I then stay awake listening to all the wood-chewing and digging but cannot go back to sleep because of Tony’s snoring to go along with the rabbit noises.
Next thing you know, planes are starting to go overhead, birds are tweeting, neighbours are waking up and walking around getting ready for work and I’m still awake.
Tony gets out of bed at 7.30am-8.00am and that’s when I fall asleep from exhaustion and then am up again by 9am ready to do it all again.
I’ve been operating like this for weeks – a total of 3 hours broken sleep every night and by the Saturday that just passed, I lost my patience.
You see, Tony had purchased some metal frames to go onto the inner frame of the hutch a week ago. He was supposed to glue them on top of where the bunnies gnawed the wood so they wouldn’t be able to bite those areas of the hutch anymore.
He’s had these metal frames since Monday but he never glued them in because they were slightly too long to fit. He needed to trim the ends off and couldn’t find a way to do it.
He was going to get them cut at a local hardware store but they were closed when he visited. In the end, having a grumpy me encouraged him to find a different solution.
Turned out, all he had to do was cut into the metal with a blade and then snap the ends off (which is actually what I said to him on Monday – it just took him all week to figure out how).
He managed to do it though and on Sunday night, we had our first ever quiet night in the flat after 6 weeks. SERENITY AT LAST!!!
The bunnies couldn’t bite the metal and had to resort to biting their chew mats which are MUCH QUIETER!!
Although we went to bed at 1am, I woke up bright and bubbly at 7am!!! There’s nothing like sleeping through the night and getting twice as much sleep as normal to make one happy!!!
For a person who likes to sleep 8 hours. I can’t believe I’m saying that 6 hours sleep straight is FANTASTIC.
The Mouth Guard
I finally got my mouth guard. All £300 of it. It better last forever!!! I grind my teeth so hard at night that I’ve chipped 2 teeth and keep chewing holes through my mouth guards so the dentist suggested something a bit stronger and hence, more expensive.
I picked it up on Monday afternoon from the dentist and on Monday night I had my first ever night’s sleep where I didn’t grind my teeth.
I have been grinding my teeth (that I’ve known of) since I was in my teens, that’s over 25 years of tooth grinding! Even my previous mouth guards allowed my jaws to clamp and chew against the guard.
This one however, stops my back teeth from meeting at all. EVER. Result? I didn’t sleep well. It was weird not being able to clench my teeth. Tuesday night however, I completely passed out.
I actually think it’s helping with my backaches. It’s as if relaxing my jaw while I sleep has allowed the rest of me to relax too. Will keep an eye on this as the weeks progress, it could just be a temporary result.
Vday was spent with Tony bringing home a bag of Ruffles (my favourite), me making him his hair pomade and us eating a Chinese takeaway dinner.
Don’t worry, the romance never died. That’s just how we roll.
V-day’s never been a thing for us and I hate that anyone spends money on flowers whose prices have been jacked up 3 fold just for the day.
WTF? Show me you care by saving your money!! Buy me flowers any other time, just not on Valentine’s day!!
We had a favourite Chinese place that closed a couple of years ago because the owner went back to live in Malaysia. We have never found another Chinese takeaway to replace it in standard and taste since.
So, we continue to try various places through Just Eat and Hungry House. I think we’ve found our close second last night. It’s called Man Ho!! LOL.
So now I can say we both had Man Ho for Valentine’s.
Paris & Rome
If I’m not talking about the bunnies, there’s something wrong. They are definitely my babies and consume the most part of my life.
I read up on everything rabbit each and every day, just so I can understand them better.
This week I learned that there are studies to show that the exact same places in a woman’s brain light up when she looks at pictures of her children as when she looks at pictures of her pet.
It seems the body does not know the difference and will trigger all the same emotions and hormones for motherly love for a pet as it does for children.
I think many pet owners who have loved and lost a pet will know what this is about because they’ve experienced it themselves. Pets really do become your best friends, your children, your family.
Apparently some people have actually said that they love their pet more than they do their partners!!!
Anyway, Paris & Rome are continuing to be happy bunnies and are still binky-ing. Though their hormones are making them a little irritable and unpredictable. If anything, I think the hormones exaggerate their personalities.
This week Paris has been more moody. One day he’ll be all ok to be around you and have you pet him (FINALLY) and the next day he is running away again, jumping in fright at every sound, hiding under the couch and avoiding every touch.
Rome has started to chew the skirting boards. I tell you nothing looks more stylish than some mangled skirting boards.
He cannot stop chewing and breaking things. I’ve given him cardboard, the chew mat, a quilt, more boxes, a chew toy but he continues to prefer to destroy the skirting boards instead.
I’ve given him hay and nuggets but they are only very temporary distractions until he’s breaking the skirting boards again. He managed to pull on one so hard, the nail came out and was sticking out dangerously sharp. I had to put him back in his hutch so I could hammer it back into the floor.
He also chases us when we go into the bathroom and starts digging at, biting or tugging our trouser legs as if to tell us we are not allowed to touch ANYTHING while in the bathroom.
Either that or that’s his way of telling us to get out.
I think he’s had enough of our cleaning up his poo. It’s ok though because he’s done very well with the litter tray and there’s not much territorial poo around.
This week, I bought an array of different kinds of hay to see which they like best. We’re spending money on their hay like we spend on superfood. Getting a bit OTT.
Forget the grass, get them the gourmet feeding hay with 3 types of plants for extra variety and nutrition! *part sarcasm*
Yes, I actually bought a bag just to test it out and am cringing that I have become one of those pet owners. God help us if we ever get a dog, I’ll probably cook all his food for him. None of that canned shit… he’s getting gourmet!
Anyway, back to the rabbits. I was trying to get away with some cheap stuff but most of it is dust at the bottom of the bag and they just don’t eat it all. In fact, they dig it, find the best bits, leave the rest, then poo and piss all over it.
We end up throwing most of it when they’re supposed to be eating it!
Not sure how this new hay will compare. It looks and smells better to Tony and I, it’s even green (as opposed to yellow) but it seems the bunnies think differently.
It costs twice as much but the bunnies are still treating it the same way as the cheap stuff. In fact, it looks as if they are not eating as much hay since the introduction of the new, more expensive stuff.
They don’t use it to pee on but they’re not eating it either. They kind of just leave it there. I wonder if they’re waiting for it to go yellow.
The bunnies seem to starve themselves (or eat skirting boards and cardboard boxes) until I give them nuggets. Still something to monitor for the coming months.
Perhaps they just need time to get used to the new flavours. Rabbits are actually very fussy eaters!
We also got them a new feeding toy which I’m more excited about than they are. You hide their treats in it and they have to learn things to get to them.
For example, they must lift a lid or push it aside to get to the treat. There are 3 different levels of difficulty.
Play time has never been more fun for me! Tony has caught me eating my dinner super fast just so I can go and play. I didn’t know I was doing it until Tony mentioned it and laughed at me for being such a kid.
Not the same for the bunnies though. Now they’re probably ok with it but at first it frustrated them… I could see it when they started biting the toy really hard, picking it up and slamming it down.
“WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET TO AND EAT MY GODDAMNED TREATS??!!!”
They’re fast learners though so they both worked out the first level in under 5 mins. Actually, watching me attempt to put the thing together had Tony questioning if the learning toy was for rabbits or for humans.
The 2nd level they both figured out in under a minute. It takes me longer to put all the treats in and set it up than it does for them to eat. They’re like mini vacuum cleaners. They just inhale.
I’ve taken videos but doubt you’d want to watch 5 mins of a rabbit figuring out how to get to a treat so editing is required.
Yet another thing to add to my things to do. Let’s see if I can ever get a clip up of this “exciting” play time with the bunnies. No promises. I can barely even get a photo up of them.
Speaking of which…. this is another picture of when they used to get along. This is how rabbits hang out and chill together.
Arghhhh they’re SO CUTE!
I am just waiting for the day they can both be together like this again. We’ve got some neutering and re-bonding to do first…. furbaby parenting goals.
When you’re young, a day feels like eternity but it seems the older you get, 1 week goes by in a blink of an eye.
Highlights of the week:
A friend from Australia that I hadn’t seen for over a decade visited. She was in London for less than 24 hours but still managed to squeeze me in for a catch up.
I chose a restaurant near where she was staying. It was the German Gymnasium at Kings Cross. They serve… German food. Ha!
Anyway, it’s in a Grade II listed building and named German Gymnasium because the building was the first, purpose built Gymnasium in England with funding coming solely from London’s German community.
The building was built in 1865 so we ate dinner (I had a German afternoon tea) inside a 150 year old building.
Yin with Sharky
Yoga which has been my life for so long, was pretty non-existent because – January.
You have to book ALL your classes in otherwise they’re all full due to all those well-intentioned New Years Resolutions people who disappear by Feb.
I managed to book classes from mid Jan through to Feb and thought by February for sure, the classes would start being freer but it wasn’t to be.
So I have spent many days not going to yoga because the classes have been booked out and I hadn’t booked myself in, in time.
Can you imagine? Attempting to book yourself in 2 days in advance is still not long enough. FARK!
I did manage to get to one of Sharky’s first Yin classes and I loved it. She did a different method to the other teachers and allowed time for “rebound” between each posture.
Rebound is a savasana in between every posture to allow whatever released in each posture, to move through and exit or integrate into, the body.
The result? I ended up getting really teary and emotional. I actually felt emotions releasing from my body and I was so grateful to be able to feel them so I could let them go.
It only lasted a few seconds though because as soon as Tony saw me looking teary, “WHY ARE YOU CRYING?” came out of his mouth and it was so abrupt and harsh, I immediately cut off all emotions and went back to thinking mode.
I got skillz like that.
Actually, he managed to say it just like my mother used to. I know he said it out of concern but I heard it the way my mum said it which meant “Stop being a pussy, you have no reason to cry and if you don’t stop I’ll fucking give you a reason to cry.” That’s the mild version. 😉
So I stopped. IMMEDIATELY. I’ll just have to find a way to cry at times he’s not around so I can release emotions in peace.
Paris & Rome Another week in peace. Both boys are really happy and binky every day.
Paris does the cutest binkies ’cause he’s so chunky like a bulldog and bottom heavy. So he looks more like a jumping goat or ram when he binkies.
Rome has started to jump on my arm and shoulder. Last night he sat on my shoulder and every so often would turn to lick my face – cheek, eyelid, eyebrows, temple, forehead. Then he’d jump down and jump up onto my other shoulder and tug at my hair.
I know he’s just looking for a way over the fence and using me as a viewing platform but I like to think we’ve developed a good bond plus I’m loving all my bunny kisses! He loves kissing my nose.
He’s still incredibly mischievous, spends a lot of his time in meerkat position, listening out for what Paris might be doing and he’s completely chewed up the skirting board instead of the chew mat we gave him because he thinks breaking the skirting board will help him escape the fence.
We keep him fenced because although the more loving of the two, he’s also the trouble maker.
He is so curious he gets himself into all sorts of trouble – biting things he shouldn’t, falling off things he shouldn’t have jumped on in the first place and starting fights by annoying the crap out of Paris by not letting him have space.
The other day he fell down the stairs 3 times in one day (that I saw)all because he kept standing on 2 feet on the edge of the step and then leaning backwards. Don’t ask.
He’s been contained in the hallway with plenty of run space including the stairs and the bathroom but it doesn’t stop him from attempting to break the fence and looking for FREEDOM!!!
I’m also having a battle of the bathroom with him.
After a week of watching Tony and I go toilet (he’s in the hallway so we have to pass him every single time and sometimes he follows us into the bathroom), he stopped pissing and pooing anywhere but the bathroom!
He just chose to go in the shower because he can’t reach the toilet.
Unfortunately, we have to keep clearing his poo and pee before we have a shower and he gets very frustrated with us because every time we clean it, we’re effectively saying he’s not allowed to pee and poo there, and therefore he has nowhere to go toilet.
So then of course he’ll poo and pee outside of the shower as well as in the shower, using the entire bathroom floor as his toilet which makes it difficult for us to go in there and use the toilet ourselves.
I put a litter in the bathroom for him and it’s taken a couple of days but I think he’s coming around to the idea that this is his new place to go toilet because there is much less poo anywhere but the litter.
Although the chew mat I bought is completely intact for Rome, Paris’ is almost completely torn apart and non-existent.
Paris actually only chews the things we give him to chew and he knows EXACTLY which is for him and which is not.
A perfect example is that he has a cardboard box he chews on, we give them cardboard boxes a lot. Yet, I’ve left cardboard boxes full of my eBay stock out right next to his play area without any fences.
He can walk right up to them and start chewing on them, pissing on them, whatever he likes really and he leaves them untouched!
He has identified what is ok for him and what will get him into trouble and he really has behaved himself so we’ve removed the fence and he’s running “free range”.
He actually just stays in his area!! He’s recently started to explore under the couch but he has steered clear of the hallway and gone nowhere near the only fence that keeps him apart from Rome.
So far so good. Unsure how long this will last but we’ll see.
Paris has also started to approach us more and nudges us for treats which is much better than running away!
Still hates getting patted but he tolerates it a bit more before running away. He also has no problems standing on our feet when he’s begging and asking us for treats. We didn’t teach him, he just does it.
Overall we have 2 very happy bunnies and we’re finally starting to understand their personalities.
Because only their scent is on their stuff, they’re not marking territory as much as they used to.
That means there’s barely any poo outside of their litter and hutch and they’re not pissing outside of their designated litters at all. I knew they were supposed to be easy to toilet train!!
All they needed was to be separated and feel safe about what is THEIR space.
Our house no longer smells as bad (either that or I’m used to it) and I’m back to normal amounts of laundry.
That makes 2 good weeks in a row with them out of 5.5 weeks together. It was a hectic start but we’re getting there!! YES!!
Last thing… last night I attempted to feed them rocket (again, I think it was my 3rd attempt at feeding them rocket, probably the 15th time to attempt to feed them some sort of fresh veg) and THEY ATE IT!!!! That was their first ever fresh vegetable they’ve eaten.
And to test trust, I held the rocket with my mouth and had them eat it from me. BOTH of them did it which means they’re both cool with sharing food with me.
YES! After many weeks of rejection, I finally got acceptance.
I can’t have asked for more. Patience, persistence, trust and love. That’s what these boys are teaching me.
And restraint… I’m learning restraint. Sometimes I wish I could just SQUEEZE them and smother them with kisses because they’re so damned CUTE but that’s probably why they don’t let me hold them!
Here is a picture of them when they used to get along:
This is them in rapport even when separated.
Seriously, Tony skyped me one pic while he was with Paris in the lounge and Rome was doing the exact same thing while with me in the hallway! In rapport, even when apart – there is hope for them yet!
Since we separated the bunnies, there have been no dramas. All peace and quiet with lots of bunny kisses each day from Rome.
We bought them toys and chew mats, gave them little cardboard boxes which they use to chew, jump on and sleep in and bought them tubes to play in.
Yes, we had to buy 2 of everything so they each have one in their separate spaces. We ended up having to get them each a separate hay rack and water bottle.
We also bought them boxes that they can jump in and out of, dig in and use as litters. We also put hay in there so they have an incentive to jump in and out.
Overall I think they’re happy. I know Rome is.
I can’t work out if Paris is or not. He doesn’t do nearly as many binkies (a binky is their jump for joy, it’s a sign of their love for life), he still stays away from us and he likes to spend a lot of time in his hutch even when the door is open all day for him.
I let them out at 9am and don’t put them back in their hutch until 11pm. They’re supposed to get a minimum of 4 hours play time outside of their hutch.
These boys get 14 hours free time, though they do spend a lot of that time (from approx. 12-6pm) sleeping. The difference in personalities is amazing.
Even with 14 hours out each, Paris spends all his free time inside the hutch and doesn’t care if we close and lock the door. Rome wants out IMMEDIATELY and looks like he really wants to get out of jail.
I can’t tell if the wanting to stay in the hutch is Paris’ personality or if he is holding a grudge and really doesn’t like us. This boy is seriously hard to read and sure seems moody. Should have named him emo.
As for me and Tony, we’re good. We attend yoga occasionally and are not so hard-core about it anymore.
I’m loving the yin yoga. Since my whole being is very yang, yin just ensures I feel more balanced. Tony’s loving the vinyasa because it’s building up his arms. IMHO, his arms have never looked better!
Not going out so much ’cause I’m trading our going out money for buying the rabbits everything they need money.
It’s ok though ’cause we’ve had plenty to eat given Christmas and then Chinese New Year happened within a month of each other. Gong Hei Fat Choy 😉
And it’s ok we haven’t gone out much ’cause we’ve re-established order and stability with a lot more love at home.
It took 1 month. Not bad for a major change!
And that’s it. Life is peaceful, calm and simple again.