I currently Live with the Stinkiest and most tiring Bunnies on Earth

BOYS.  I have bunny boys.  They are now both 4 months old.  That is equivalent to them hitting puberty.  They’ve only been with us for 2.5 weeks.

This has to be the WORST time to get them.  You don’t get them at their cutest, they already look like adult bunnies but with juvenile cheeky and curious minds.  They also come with attitudes.  They are filled with testosterone, are full of energy so they never sleep, can get aggressive with each other and they STINK.

They both have testicles now.  They both like humping each other because there are no other bunnies to hump.

Fights occur when either of them decides they are NOT going to be mounted, BOTH of them want to mount each other at the same time, or their “nipping” while humping gets a little too much for the other bunny.

Honking, yes they actually both make “honk honk honk” noises when they want to mate.  Both of them now honk and chase each other.

Two nights ago, Rome started making noises that resembled a didgeridoo.  I wasn’t sure what it meant.

If I don’t calm them down by hushing them, their excitement turns into aggression and they get into fights with fur pulling, biting and super speed circle chasing and lunging with teeth out, ready to bite off each other’s testicles.

They look like a frenzied whirling yin-yang.  I’ve never been able to take a video of it because well…. I’m too busy trying to stop it.

Last week I was overwhelmed when they fought for the first time.  This week I am constantly tense when I watch them together because they just get into more and more fights, more frequently.

Paris is getting very aggressive and Rome is scared but continues to challenge him.  It’s stressful.  I feel the tension in the air every time they are together and hushing them doesn’t calm them or me down anymore.

The problem is that they are (were) bonded rabbits.  They loved each other very much and followed each other everywhere.  They hung out together, ate together, played together, slept next to each other, groomed each other.

That’s why we got them together because they were actually in a play area together.

Now they’re pissing in each other’s faces.  Literally.

So, I’ve been using cardboard to separate them, spraying them with water, locking one up while the other one plays outside, separating the 2 story hutch and letting them sleep separately.

They get so jealous of each other.

If I let one out to play, the other goes crazy in the hutch trying to get out.  When I swap, the one in the hutch goes crazy again but if I put them together, they keep chasing each other just to piss on each other.

To top it off, they STINK…. Their territorial poo markers are extra pungent.  The piss they do to mark territory, pungent.

People have described the unneutered male bunny smell as musky, skunky, B.O and what made me laugh was the description that “it smells like my bunny has eaten Mexican food”.

Well, my whole flat smells like Mexican Bunny B.O. at the moment and I am not happy about it!!  I even think it’s all over me but I’ll never know because that smell is all that fills my nostrils every day.

I think anyone who has owned at least 2 male bunnies that have reached adolescence knows this smell very well.  It’s HORRIBLE!

Yes, they reek and nothing I do is going to actually stop the smells which, of course, are worse when it comes from boys who are around other boys, trying to outdo other boys… even in stench.

My boys are leaving their territorial poo everywhere.  If one does a territorial poo, the other will smell it and do 2 or 3 of his own.  When the other smells that poo, he does 2 or 3 more of his own and on and on it continues until the floor is covered in rabbit poo. STINKY, musky, skunky, territorial rabbit poo.

Then, when they chase and run whether for bonking, play or fighting, they end up kicking and flinging their poo all over the place.  Fantastic.

I vacuum and wipe down the floor twice a day now and the stink is still overwhelming.  I think they overcompensate by pooing even more after I have cleaned up.

I’ve tried not cleaning up but I tell you what, the rabbits have rekindled my OCD tendencies and all the poo and piss is icking me out.

OH the piss.  Unneutered males will spray vertically and horizontally, forming a nice even arch, just like a garden sprinkler.  Their goal is to mark their entire territory.. walls and floor… ceiling if they could.

This of course happens when they’re not directing their pee on the other rabbit.

I don’t care if they do that in their hutch but they are doing it outside.  So a pair of gloves, vinegar in a spray bottle and a floor wipe are my new best friends.

They are teaching me the art of being calm under any circumstance and I’m quite getting used to having to do loads and loads of laundry every day but they have tested my  patience one too many times.

I burned incense attempting to mask this hormonal bunny stench in the flat and all it did was combine all the smells and give me a headache.

For all I know, it gave the bunnies a headache too.  I had to open all the windows and let the freezing cold in, just to clear the air!!

I have yet to find a remedy for the stench.  Yes, all my research has said that neutering will do it.  Neutering sounds like the holy grail at the moment.  Neutering apparently will stop the smells and make calmer bunnies.

I just don’t know if it will make them get along or if they officially hate each other now.

I will get them neutered… oh I definitely will.  OMG I wish I could get them fixed right now but I’m not allowed to.

The vet said 6 months.  So until then, I am cleaning the floor multiple times a day and putting up with skunk smell in the house and am keeping them separated.

Playing referee 24 hours a day sucks.

If you ever want to know where I am, it’s pretty easy, you’ll find me cleaning my floor and wiping down furniture for the 50 millionth time or passed out on the couch during my peace keeping watch.

Thank God for yoga.

I love my Dentist!

The dentist was updating my medical records today and asked me if I was allergic to certain things and then if I had to avoid certain toothpastes because of it…
Me:  Well, I don’t actually know because I don’t use any store bought toothpastes.
*awkward pause*
I don’t know if I should tell you but I make my own tooth paste and tooth powders.  I’ve been doing so for over a year now.
Dentist:  Really?  WELL, you’re the first person I’ve ever come across to make their own toothpaste.  What do you put in it?
I tell him, he seems to be confused by the list of ingredients I’ve given him (bentonite clay, bicarb, salt and cloves are in my latest concoction.. ie food.  My tooth cleaning powder is made of food).  He just becomes really eager to look into my mouth to see the effects of my DIY job.
I panic.  Time of reckoning.  That tooth powder better have bloody worked!!  He knows now so he’ll be looking!!!!
I chipped a tooth 4 months ago too.  I hope he doesn’t think it was my tooth powder.
He checks my mouth, he checks my teeth, he checks my gums.
Dentist:  Well, apart from the chip, your teeth are good.  You have zero cavities from what I can see.  And your gums are really good.  Whatever it is you’re using, just keep using it!  I’m really intrigued!
I’m relieved.  Actually even impressed.
I’m impressed that he was OK with me being “all natural” and DIY-ing my oral health as long as it was doing the job.
I’m impressed that the only time the dentists and hygienists have ever said my teeth and gums were good were now… when I’ve been DIY-ing my toothpaste!!!
I’m impressed that the chip in my tooth has been there for 4 months and actually left a hole where lots of food and sugar can actually go in and get trapped, to cause plaque build up and gum infection and yet even through xmas and travelling holidays, I have nothing wrong there at all.
Considering my long term suffering and history with gum disease and the fact I’m now on high alert with the dentist when it comes to my gums, I’m impressed that he’s telling me they’re in good shape!!!
For any dentists out there…. my scoring code was 0 everywhere except for back right top (’cause I’ve been eating a lot of chips lately) which scored 1.  That’s pretty phenomenal for someone who lost a tooth due to gum disease and had to have frequent quarterly visits with the periodontist for over a year.
I’m impressed he looked at my chipped tooth and knew I did it by grinding my teeth at night.  I told him I’ve had several mouth guards and grind so hard, I’ve chewed holes in them which is why I stopped wearing them and that I’ve chipped a different tooth before just by tooth grinding at night. as well.
I’m impressed he treated me like I was normal and just gave me better mouth guard options for my strong jaws!  😉
Overall I really like my dentist and am impressed with his open mindedness to my oral hygiene practices.  I’m also now really REALLY happy with my DIY tooth powder too.
Finally I can see the light at the end of this long dark tunnel.  My oral health will be tip top perfect really soon!!!  Thank you God!

Who needs drama when you have pets?

They’re fighting.  The hormones are well and truly at play.  Rome cannot stop attempting to hump Paris.  Paris isn’t having it any more and is biting Rome for every hump attempt.

He gives a warning, they stare each other out but Rome just can’t help himself and Paris’ response is to pretty much rip out Rome’s fur.

Thank God his teeth haven’t sunk in any deeper than just the fur.

We’ve separated them when they get like this but in doing so, have exposed the hutch to total destruction because Rome in his horny, sexually frustrated state becomes aggressive and distressed.

He just chews and chews and chews on all the wood frames around the bars to his hutch because he wants to get out and bonk Paris.

He’s got other things to chew on but will always chew the hutch because he knows it annoys  me and gets my attention.

He also doesn’t respond to loud claps and screaming anymore.  If anything it makes him keep going.

He’s TOTALLY DEFIANT and wanting to show me he’s top rabbit especially since we’ve established that the hutch is theirs.

I can get angry at them about damaging everything outside the hutch and they’re mostly compliant but the hutch itself is their home and their safe place and Rome knows it.

So, if he feels like it to chew it up into bits, he’ll do it, whether I like it or not.

Not just that, he bangs and jumps and kicks when in isolation.  He attempts every way possible to get out.  He literally is climbing the walls (because he knows the roof opens up on the hutch).

He acts like a crazy person that needs to be put in a straight jacket so he doesn’t hurt himself.  He’s completely manic, running from one side of the hutch to the other, back and forth, biting the cage bars, biting the frame, climbing and scratching the wall and digging at the floor at 2-3am.

We’ve only just had the hutch for a week and he’s killed it.  If we wanted to, there’s no way we can return the hutch with all the damage he’s done to it and Tony and I are sleepless every night.

“They can keep a slightly wild aspect to them.”  The lady at the pet store said.  UMMM…. yeah, just slightly.

I bought them a little rabbit tunnel to play in and within a minute, Rome chewed not one, but two holes into it.  Really?  It cost me £10 and he broke it in a 1 minute.  WTF man?

I would have had more fun and value wiping my butt with a £10 note and flushing it down the toilet.  Same result.  What a waste!!

My concern however is how much he’s keeping us up at night AND quite possibly whether or not he’s waking up the neighbours above, below, on each side and from across the road with all his banging.

I’ll have to look up how to soundproof the hutch or our neighbours won’t be very happy at all.

We took the bunnies to the vet last week for a check up and vaccination and asked about the aggressive and hormonal behaviour and the pee spraying.

We asked when they can be neutered to stop it all and her response was to wait until they’re 6 months old and to just keep them separate.

She also said that the pee spraying was poor bladder control because they’re junior rabbits.  This is what I spoke about last week where they were spraying everything with piss, including the walls.

She said that it was them not being able to control their bladders when they get excited or scared.

They’re not dogs!!!  The bunnies are doing it on purpose and every bit of research and all the bunny forum discussions I’ve read since, have said so.

Rome pissed on Paris the other day, an epic spray that covered him entirely from head to tail.  That was his way to say “I own you.  You are mine.”

It’s not lack of bladder control, it’s quite the opposite.  They have perfect bladder control and perfect aiming abilities to cover their intended, with piss.  And they only do this when hormonal and wanting to mate (something that can be remedied by neutering).

Except now I have to wait until they are 6 months old before I can do anything about it!!

1 min = tunnel destruction.  1 week = hutch destruction and a house full of piss.  I have cleaned the floor, wiped it down, vacuumed, swept over and over again, multiple times per day, every day and in the first week did 4 loads of laundry a day!  I’m exhausted.

The bunnies are just 4 days from being 4 months old.  I have 2 more months of this.  I’m not sure how I’ll be.

In 2 months time, I don’t think Tony and I will have a house to live in because our hormonal rabbit would have eaten a hole out of their hutch and destroyed the place.

Maybe I should just let Paris bite all of Rome’s fur off.  It’ll serve two purposes.  Firstly, Rome surely would stop trying to bonk him… surely?  Secondly, I can use Rome’s fur to line the inside of the hutch for sound insulation.

Seriously though, when Rome is horny, it’s stressful and there’s nothing I can do about it except to separate them when they fight and let them be together when they’re calm, to keep their bond.

Paris hasn’t got crazy hormonal yet.  He’s also not much of a chewer.  An eater and hoover of pellets, yes but he doesn’t chew on things and hasn’t peed on anything since I got angry with him about the couch.

Other than biting Rome for bonking him too much (I mean Rome mounted him 19 times in 5 minutes and can be in this horny state for hours so we think the biting is warranted), Paris is actually a very good, well behaved rabbit.

If we only had Paris… we wouldn’t have all these problems.

I don’t know what I’ll do if BOTH rabbits end up behaving badly due to their hormones.    :/

Ensuring there are no fights requires CONSTANT monitoring as it is.

On the up side, their toilet training is getting better.  We’re coming to 2 weeks since first getting them and they only piss and poo in their hutch now.

There have only been maybe 1 or 2 little poos every now and again outside of the hutch for the last 2 days.  Peeing outside their hutch, has been limited to Rome piss spraying on Paris.

Better than pissing everywhere including 6 times on a blanket that’s for sure!  I’ve given them the same blanket and for the last 2 days they haven’t pissed on it at all.  YES!  Progress.

Also, they do have their non-horny moments and in those times I’ve trained them to do little tricks.  In a few days they’ve learned “Up”, “Walk” and “Jump”.  Paris is currently learning “Spin”.  They learn in approximately 5 mins so they are super smart.  The rest of the time is just reinforcement.

Their ability to generalise is amazing.  For instance, I made a little rattle where I put their nuggets into a box.  If they shook the box, the nuggets would fall out.

They’ve since chewed the box to shreds so I had to make a new rattle with a toilet paper roll.  They now pick up the roll and shake it to get the nuggets out.

I put some nuggets into a scrunched up bit of paper and again, to get the nuggets out, they picked up the paper and shook it around.  I didn’t teach them this, they generalised after learning on the first box!

Actually, by they, I mean Paris.  He’s definitely the brains.  Rome is the brawn.

The training is super easy with their level of intelligence.  The hormones are what’s causing the mayhem and difficult for them to control, in turn making them difficult for us to deal with.

Initially we didn’t want to neuter them thinking they’re boys, we don’t want to defile them.  If we have no other rabbits, they can’t breed but by their behaviour, it’s looking like we have to neuter them anyway just to calm them down.

There are only 2 more months before I can really find out how much of Rome’s naughtiness comes from personality and how much comes from hormones.

In the meantime I think I’m going to have to be quite the tiger mum with him and be a lot stricter.

Allow me to Introduce to you…. My Little Headaches

We did it.  We bit the bullet and got bunny companions.

Did you know that’s what you call them now?  Companions.  It’s not about ownership and being owned these days.  It’s called companionship where one companion acts as a guardian for the other.

Gone are the days of pets and owners.  Just sentient beings playing roles of companions and guardians living in the same household.  That’s how it’s been described in today’s New Age world.  How about that?

As their new guardians, we named our bunny companions Paris & Rome, after our favourite cities we’ve visited together.

Here’s a sneak peak…

view-from-the-top-of-the-stairs

Should have just called them Alopecia and Hypertension if you ask me because that’s what they’ve been causing me.

I can think of other names like Sleep Deprivation and Distress, Moody and Stroppy, Trouble and Drama, Aches and Pains, Kill me now and F’k my life… OMG I’m finding this way too easy!

I think this is what mums go through when they have their first child.  Except I went from being childless, to being responsible for 2 teenage boys (who do not communicate with anything other than piss, poo and biting) overnight, so I’ve had no time to build up to or get used to this!

So please excuse me while I adjust to manic life.

These boys keep testing me, testing their dominance, testing the boundaries.  They jump and hurt themselves.  They jump and fall on each other.  They BONK each other every few minutes unless we give them something new to explore.  They learn quickly and get bored soon after.

They have bitten each other and scratched each other as they wrestle with working out how to bonk.  They attempt so many angles and then take turns that they leave each other looking completely dishevelled.

We built their new hutch last night and put them in there.  This morning I woke up to the biggest kerfuffle and every time I walked in and said “What are you doing?!” in my half asleep state, they both just sat there and did nothing but stare back at me.

When I went back to bed they started whatever it was all over again.  I stubbed my toe running out of bed to catch them doing whatever they were doing to make so much noise and yet again, they both just stopped and stared at me.

Only later when I got up and wasn’t groggy did I realise that all the noise was them chasing and pulling out each others’ fur!

They have bitten Tony and/or myself, at least once each, per day.  They’ve peed all over our couch multiple times and pooed everywhere and they’re completely disinterested in developing relationships with us.

They even thumped at me before running away, to tell me just how much I was annoying them by wanting to pat them.  It’s effectively the same as saying “get lost” and slamming the door.  Oh my broken heart…. it’s like a little test in repeated rejection.

They’re just in their own little world.

We’ve only had them for a few days (quite literally 3 days as I write this) and they weren’t handled much or litter trained either which means we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us to gain their trust and respect.

They’re wild-like ie. they’re terrified of humans holding them where they’ll freeze and their tiny little hearts and breathing will go to a million miles per hour.

They always run away if you try to pet them and they don’t eat anything you offer them with your hands and they toilet everywhere.  I mean EVERYWHERE.

I’m attempting the toilet training now only to realise in my despair research (that’s research you do when you want to scream “WHY ISN’T IT WORKING?!  SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!”) that teenage boy bunnies, unless neutered will spray urine and drop poo for territory boundaries EVERYWHERE even if they’re litter trained.

So I won’t ever actually get a 100% success rate with litter training unless they are both neutered.

They pee to mark territory, they pee as part of their courtship ritual, they pee (on you..) if they like you (lucky I got Paris stroppy at me, less chance of me getting pissed on), they pee to take ownership of what was once yours eg the couch, a blanket, the pillows, any excuse to paint the walls with piss really and it’s doing my head in because I’m the one doing all the cleaning.

Their pee and poo odours are omnipotent – everywhere at all times, permeating every cell and seeping through the walls, especially if there’s another male rabbit around… of course.

NOW why didn’t I get girls?  Because when I was younger I had rabbits as pets and the boys were always so sweet,  nice, loving and affectionate towards me and they NEVER pissed or pooed anywhere other than in their litter tray.

They also learned to toilet train quickly AND they trained their own kits to go in the litter too.

The girls in my experience however were always aggressive.  They growled, attacked other bunnies and pissed and pooed wherever they liked.  They liked to ignore my training and do their own thing.

The girls also chased other rabbits and pulled hair off them and they bit other bunnies HARD causing injury.

The boys when allowed into the house, never peed or pooed anywhere but the girls didn’t just dirty everywhere, they ate cables too.

I had to get a repair man come to fix my washing machine hose and cable all because I left the girl bunny in the laundry so she wouldn’t bite my hand off when I tried to clean her hutch, not to mention the mess I had to clean in the laundry after I put her back in the hutch!!

Compare that to allowing my boy bunny full reign of my bedroom for 5.5 hours by himself without him even so much as toppling a pile of paper I had under the bed which was easily accessible to him at all times.   No poo, no pee, no mess.  He’d just hang out in my room until I got back.

So I told Tony that if we were ever to get bunnies, I wanted boys – they’ve always been much nicer and easier to deal with.  I didn’t realise that every time I had a boy bunny, he was by himself or with one (or many) girl bunny(ies).

I’d never actually had 2 boys (and only boys) at the same time until now.  So I had no idea their behaviour would be like this when there were 2 of them.  They are quite literally now having a pissing contest, every day.

When we went to get them there were only boys to choose from so either the breeders kept the does, the pet store only took in bucks, or all the does got sold first.

Whatever the case, only bucks were available.  I was told that these little ones were girls and was going to tell Tones we should just wait for bucks to come in.  Then she corrected herself and said, “Oh sorry, I was mistaken, they are bucks.”  I was so happy!

OMG am I regretting it now.

Just call them headaches and just like all children, they’re only sweet and nice when they’re puffed up like a little fluffy ball and resting.

And they stink…. OMG they smell.  I heard teenage boys smell… well, rabbits are the same.  Not the actual rabbits because they’re cleaning themselves all the time but their territorial poo really really stinks.

The stench gives me a headache.  What’s worse is I actually cleaned their entire area only 24 hours ago to the point where the stink was completely gone and now within 24 hours, the stink is just as bad as it was before I cleaned and I can’t stop them.  This is what teenage bunny boys do.

I called the vet to book in a check up and vaccination.  I booked it early and in a few days time so they get to see the vet before I throttle them but it looks like they’re beating up each other on their own quite fine.

I was hoping they could actually vaccinate AND neuter at the same time to save me from my stress but alas it is not to be.  Unfortunately I will have to wait and tolerate the pissing contest for a little longer 😦

I don’t think Tony wants to get involved.  Yesterday I asked him to check if Paris’ balls had dropped and he didn’t want to.  “You do it” he said to me.  “I don’t want to look at their balls!”

So… yes, I am now mother to 3 boys.

We had to check because if the testicles have descended, the rabbit is old enough to be neutered and I wanted them to be neutered at the same time so they could recover at the same time.  This is what they suggested at the pet store.  The boys are 3.5 months old.

The vet however, might want me to wait until the bunnies are actually 6 months old so they’re fully matured before neutering.  Do you know what this means?  It means if they can’t get neutered now, I have to spend another quarter of a year with a house full of stench, cleaning up piss!!!!!

Why did I have to get them at this age??!!!!!  Couldn’t I at least have them as babies for a while first?  You know, when they’re cute, trainable and obedient instead of arsy and defiant?!!! Hey… there’s 2 more names for them Arsy and Defiant.  ARGH!!!!!

You know that if you don’t do what they do, they actually nudge you hard with their noses?  AND if you still ignore them, they bite!

When we got them, Paris had no balls visible and Rome did.  Within a couple of days, both of them have descended testicles.  How about that?  No wonder this pissing contest is going so strong in frequency and in odour!!

Having said all this, their development is so quick that you never know, I could be with bunnies with different and more mature personalities by next week.

Maybe I just need to give them time to settle in.  I screamed at Paris the other day and he got all stroppy with me.  We gave each other the silent treatment for a day.

It’s OK because Tony is consoling me, and Rome consoles Paris.  He licks him on the chin and grooms his ears to cheer him up.

I told Paris off because he peed and pooed on the couch one too many times.  He did it after I’d already done 4 loads of laundry (2 of which was because of how much peeing they did) and spent the day cleaning after them so I’d had enough.

So now that I’ve spoken so highly of them, do you want to see their faces?

Awwww…..

Yes, these are my little pissers.  Whose piss odours have filled every cavity in the space we call home to give me a chronic headache.

Paris and Rome

Paris is the Black one, colour “Black Otter”.  Rome is the brown one, colour “Siamese Sable”.

They are our new naughty little Pedigree Pure Breed (soon to be neutered or I’ll go crazy) Netherland Dwarf Bucks.

My little headaches… and our chosen companions for up to the next 12 years.

Oh what adventures we will have wee ones.  I can’t wait for the day you two stop pissing and pooing anywhere except your litters!

And I hope soon you will finally let us give you hugs and cuddles ❤

I am on holidays

I turned off Facebook over a week ago.  I switched off eBay a few days ago.

I am now officially on holidays until after Christmas.

What am I doing with all my time?  NOTHING!!!!

Yes, lying around doing absolutely nothing and loving it.

 

It also means that I’m not really blogging either…

Usually even though we’ve travelled to  a few countries this year, I’m still working online.  This is the first time in over a year where I’ve switched it all off.

So off I go to enjoy the wonders of nothingness.

See you when I get back!

My first 24 hours without Facebook

It’s not over yet, I’ve still got 9 hours to go but I am on my first ever 24 hours without Facebook.

Ever since I opened my account on Facebook back in 2007,  I think I’ve been on it every single day.

It’s like a drug addiction and I was in denial.

These days, because I work on the computer a lot, from home and in my own hours,  I just pop in and out of Facebook, whenever, which pretty much means ALL THE TIME.

If there is one place you’d be able to catch me at some point in the day, it would be Facebook.

BUT NOT FOR THE LAST 24 HOURS!!!!

Because you know what I did?

I DEACTIVATED MY ACCOUNT.

Yup.  I deactivated it.

I don’t know why but in the last week I’ve noticed and disliked my attachment to Facebook.  I’ve been using it as an escape the way one would use TV and I’ve been wasting hours of every day on it.

I tell people I don’t watch TV but I might as well be, with the number of animal videos, food videos and new invention videos I’ve watched through my feed.

The last straw was when I was supposed to go out to dinner the other day and instead of getting ready to leave the house, I found myself stuck to my seat and the computer because I’d prefer to mindlessly watch videos than get ready to go out and talk to people.

Then, after we got home, the first thing I did was log into Facebook to just watch things mindlessly yet again until 1am when I could have just gone to bed.

But WHY do I log into Facebook in the first place?  For a multitude of reasons.  I log on:

  •  every time I don’t feel like working.
  • every time I feel inadequate and am looking for affirmation or validation.
  • each time I want proof that I don’t lead a meaningless existence.
  • every time I want to send someone a message – my attempt at reaching out and maintaining friendships.
  • to share random thoughts I would say out loud if someone was physically around to hear them.
  • because I’m waiting for a reply to something I’ve written to someone and I want to check if they’ve come back to me yet.
  • for something to do because I don’t feel like doing much else, aka procrastination.
  • to keep updated on the latest news (which is mostly rubbish)
  • any time I feel anxious about doing the next task because it might be too hard.

But you know what?  That list already means I log onto Facebook at least 9 times a day.  Yes, I login and then logout and then login and then logout.  I thought having to physically keep logging in and out would stop me but it hasn’t.

Deactivation has stopped me though.  I think the action to reactivate is exactly the same.  All I have to do is log back in but mentally, a “deactivated account” actually is deterring me from going back.

I feel a sense of relief.

So what is life like without Facebook?  I can’t remember because I have to think back to the days before 2007.

I’ll tell you what though, I’ve done a LOT.  I think so far, up to the time of writing this, I’ve only had 15 hours off from FB and that included 7 hours of sleep.

Last week’s blog was on completions and well, I completed over 30 tasks yesterday.  I had 30 things on my list to do today and I’m down to 16 (including going to the bank and dropping off a parcel).

I’m enjoying my freedom and new found time so far.  I wonder how long this will last 😉

Completions

Back in circa 2000, I met this guy at a personal development seminar.  It was my very first personal development seminar.

They asked us to introduce ourselves to our “buddies” ie the person sitting next to us who we were to spend the rest of our 5 days with.

The purpose of a buddy?  He/she was your accountability partner and the one we would do all our exercises with.

I turned and next to me was this rather quirky character, almost 20 years my senior.

I won’t say much about him right now other than to say, he was an eccentric artist and I couldn’t believe I ended up with THIS guy out of all the 500 or so in the room and my first reaction was, “why did I end up sitting next to HIM?!”

We were the most unlikely of buddies, I never in a lifetime would have ever befriended him under any normal circumstances but I’m so grateful that he was my buddy because I learned many life lessons from him.

We remained buddies and good friends for years, right up to me being in London (2007).  Then we lost touch.

In the time we stayed connected, he taught me many things, one of which was something he called “Completions”, I believe this to be Landmark terminology.

Every day he’d make a goal to have 5 completions and every day, he’d tell me what completions he did.

Every day I had no idea what he was talking about nor why it was important to him but all I knew was that my job was to make sure he ticked his goals off the list and if he accomplished HIS goal then I’d been a good buddy.

Well, I finally get it, almost 20 years later!  But again, he was 20 years my senior and now that I’m about the  age he was then, I  do actually get it.

So, completions – to complete something is to resolve a problem, to close off a loop, to tie up loose ends, to finish something that was started.  AND IT FEELS SO GOOD.  No wonder he aimed for 5 a day.

You see, for every loop we leave open, for every problem unresolved, it leaves the mind constantly working to close it, to find an ending, to find some sort of resolution – this is mind chatter.  Noise.

Emotions linger and go around and around our bodies.  We think and over think then rethink and then think again and a lot of it is completely unnecessary.  Actually, none of it would be there, if we just closed the loop.

So that’s what I’ve been doing.  Closing loops.  I can’t even explain to you how easy life is when you do that.  Give it a go and you’ll know what I mean.  It brings so much clarity and sanity!

If a decision needs to be made, decide.  If a question is asked, answer.  If a problem is created, find a solution and resolve it.

If something keeps dragging on, identify the person, system, company, thing that’s causing the drag and disrupting the flow to the end goal and attempt resolution there.

If it’s not possible or within your timeframe, replace that bit with a person, system, company, thing that will allow for quick and easy resolution and work with them instead.

If that doesn’t work, leave it, throw it, come back to it later, or don’t.  Some things need persistence however, there are some things that cannot be fixed and are not for you to fix. These problems call for acceptance.  Acceptance also closes a loop.

Life is too short to be spending it, sitting in unresolved problems.

Dr Demartini says that the longest any person should ever need to go through grief is 3 hours.

I’m thinking, if grief only needs 3 hours, then surely many other problems can be resolved just as quickly, if not faster!

Although morbid, I often have this thought:  “If I died today, what would I be leaving Tony with having to deal with?  What things have I left undone?  What things have I left in a disorganised state?  When I’m gone, what will his life be like as a direct impact of my actions or inactions?”

So every day I’m closing loops.  Each day that passes, the less and less mess and problems I leave him (and myself) with.

With every new problem that arises, the faster I deal with it.  The more I eliminate things I don’t want from my life, the less they turn up.  Eventually they just never turn up at all, leaving space for all the things I do want.

Someone asked me and Tony once.  “So when you’re in the yoga room, what do you think of?”  Both of us actually looked at each other, then looked back at her blankly.  We both answered, “Nothing.”

Do you know how good that feels?  To realise that you have moments in time where you can just sit there and think of absolutely nothing!

No worries, no troubles, no anxieties, no fears, no guilt, no lists, no problems to resolve, no things to do, no dramas, no plans, no mindless empty chatter….. just…. nothing.

That’s what happens when you do completions.

You become calm, clear, content, present…complete.

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